2311. Rituals Rhythms and Routines

Rhythms, routines and rituals

We are creatures of habits and patterns. We celebrate life stages, mark significant events and have weekday and weekend schedules that we generally stick to. 

We make similar meals and go on relatively similar holidays. We wake up, eat and go to bed at a similar time. We form habits and patterns to help us manage our day-to-day lives. 

There are a number of reasons for this. A few of these are: 

Automatic (subconscious) behaviour

Learning and mastering new skills takes time and energy. If you think back to when you were last learning a new skill – like how to drive a car – you had to actively think about: ‘seatbelt on before starting the car’, ‘lights on after dark’, ‘check mirrors before changing lane’, ‘indicate before turning’. It was nerve-wracking, required intense concentration and was rather tiring.

After a few years, you do these activities habitually, and automatically. You don’t really have to think about it. How often do you find yourself driving down a familiar stretch of road and don’t have any memory of the previous five minutes of driving time? 

To conserve energy and to free up brain capacity for other activities, we naturally develop ‘muscle memory’ for a task and automate as much behaviour as possible.

This is partly why changing habits requires so much time, effort and energy.  

Meaning making

Being part of a community where you have at least one thing in common creates a sense of belonging within that group. It is grounding and engenders meaning and purpose. 

Rituals and rules give a group structure and boundaries to operate in and allow for progression and growth within that group. 

Belonging is an important human need. This is why solitary confinement and ostracisation are such harsh punishments. 

A group’s rituals and being recognised within that process is an essential element of group belonging. 

Beginning, middle and end

Everything in life has a beginning, a middle and an end. A number of these events are either recognised, celebrated or mourned.

Nature has ebbs and flows, night and day, winter and summer. These are the natural rhythms of life. 

What does this have to do with Digital Technology?

Amongst a host of ways digital technology has affected and enabled a disruption of these rhythms, rituals and routines, there are two that we can easily amend.

The first is a bit of an obvious one: sleep disruption

Many of us are still looking at a screen well into the evening, and sometimes late into the night.

  • We know that the blue light emitted from screens interrupts the melatonin production that helps us to sleep.
  • Even if you do have a screen on night-time settings, your brain is activated and stimulated by the app, content or program. It takes time to slow down brain stimulation enough for it to fall into sleep mode.
  • If you are looking at work and emails late at night, the emotional stimulation from the project, message or sender can increase fight or flight hormone levels that reduce the ability to easily fall asleep.

Matthew Walker, in his book ‘Why We Sleep’, suggests that we should turn off all screens at least two hours before we are due to go to bed and not allow any devices into our bedrooms.

The second is a more recent ‘invention’: remote and hybrid working

Research during the Lockdowns showed that most remote workers started their working day at the same time as they had originally left for work and continued until the time they arrived home from work. The research indicated that these workers showed no indication of improved productivity levels – despite working that extra amount of time each day.

Another research study showed that working parents, who needed to leave work at a very specific time, were more productive than those who didn’t. They knew they had limited time to get the work done, so were a lot more focused during the workday. 

We generally tend to get something completed within the time allocated to the work. If, for example, we have five hours, we tend to procrastinate and do the majority of the work within the last hour. If we only had an hour to get the same work done, we tend to get it done within that hour.

We also know that the commute to and from work is a time that we allocate to ‘transitioning’ between our home selves and work selves. It helps us to mentally, emotionally and physically delineate these two life realms and responsibilities, and helps us to better focus in each space.

We need to create rhythms, routines and rituals. Replicating the activities we normally engage in during our commute is a great way to engage our brain in this transition. If you normally read a book on a bus/train to work, sit in a comfortable chair at home and read a book during your traditional commute time. If you listen to music in the car, find a space at home where you can sit and listen to music. If you normally cycle or walk to work, cycle or walk around the block.

The key in all of this is to keep your body and brain within a work-home ritual and routine that gives you the mental, emotional and physical capacity to delineate between these two life realms. It may just be one of those key things that keep you focused and productive during your work day.

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Atomic Habits Article Header

Atomic Habits – James Clear

Updated: 20 December 2023 

A book that flies in the face of ‘quick fix’ solutions, and probably one of the most insightful books on how we build and how we can change our habits. 

We all have habits we’ve picked up[ from those around us, life circumstances, coping mechanisms and self-limiting beliefs. Some of thse are useful and others range from not useful to downright bad for us. Some habits help us and some inhibit us. 

If you can’t seem to make a break-through in areas you really want to amend or improve, this may well be the one book you need to change that cycle or spiral. 

May 2019 Interview at London Real

In an interview with Brian Rose at London Real, James talks through some of the insights he spent 6 years researching. Although he covers a number of elements within his book, there is a lot of detail (including actionable steps to take in building strong habits) that he does not cover.  

Reading/listening to his book is essential for gaining a depth of insight into habits and how to change undesirable automatic behaviour that could be detrimental to your health and life goals.  

A few insights covered in this interview:

  • A habit is: a behaviour that has been repeated enough time to be more or less automatic – so things you can do without really thinking about it.
  • It’s not just luck / natural predisposition and not just habits that determine success in life. However, one of these things you have control over. The most reasonable strategy to take in order to achieve what you want is to focus on controlling your habits.
  • Your outcomes in life are a lagging measure of your habits. The things that most need to change are the habits that proceed the outcomes you want to achieve.
  • Small habits don’t transform you overnight, but every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become.
  • Your habits reinforce a particular identity – either positively or negatively.
  • True behaviour change is identity change. The goal, therefore, is not the outcome you require, but a skillset that enables you to be the type of person you desire to be.
  • The things that often separates you is not your physical gifts, but your ability to practice, to get out of your own way, your mental approach etc.
  • In automating behaviour, you can do regular tasks more quickly while using less mental energy, and also save time, to do so.
  • Bad habits often involved immediate gratification, the rewards of good habits are often only seen in the future – the cost of your good habits is in the present and the cost of your bad habits is in the future.
  • Good habits become easy habits when you can find joy in delaying gratification.
  • If you learn the right (credible) story to tell yourself, it becomes easier to maintain that over the long run.
2023 Fast Forward Conference Presentation Summary

If you do not want to sign up to London Real so you can watch the interview, the presentation at the Fast Forward Conference is a more recent (and shorter) version of the same information delivered by James on (some of the) Atomic Habits.  

A few of the key messages are expounded more fully in the book, but here are some topline take-aways that may help you start thinking about the digital habits you currently have, and how to start making some ‘small win changes’ that can lead to bigger life goals wins as the habits embed.  

  • The aggregation of marginal gains: you don’t need to make sweeping major changes in order to win big. By making small, compounded (1%) improvements on a daily basis, you can change the overall trajectory of your future in a positive way. Resulting in “The Compound Interest of Self-Improvement…time will magnify whatever you feed it”. 
  • “If you are struggling to improve, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system”. We struggle to change if we have the wrong system to be able to change. Setting a desired goal is easy. The hard part is building a system of behaviours, that you then execute, to carry you towards achieving the goal. Your system is the collection of daily habits that you follow that are designed to deliver results. If you want to change your results you need to change your systems (i.e. daily habits). 
  • Your only rational/reasonable approach in life is to focus on the elements that are within your control. It’s up to you to build the habits that can get you to the goal you wish to achieve.  

A habit can be broken into 4 different stages:  

  1. Cue: Trigger that tells your brain to initiate the habit – something that gets your attention. 
  2. Craving: Your brain then starts to make a prediction (automatically) of what may happen in response to that cue. 
  3. Response: The favourable meaning that you give towards the engagement in that behaviour. 
  4. Reward: The satisfying element/the cost of engaging in the behaviour  

 The 4 Laws of Desired Behaviour Change. Make it: 

  1. Obvious – the cues of your good habits need to be visible, available, or get your attention. 
  2. Attractive – the more appealing/enticing it is, the more likely you will feel compelled to do it.  
  3. Easy – the more frictionless/easy a habit is to do, the more likely it is to be performed. 
  4. Satisfying – the more rewarding it is, the more likely you will do it again in the future.  

 If you want to break a bad habit, then reverse these laws. 

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Digital Minimalism Book Review

Digital Minimalism – Cal Newport

I first came across Cal Newport when I stumbled across his book Deep Work.

As a Computer Scientist who graduated from MIT and then a teacher of others who engage in computer sciences, I found it fascinating that he didn’t have any social media accounts and encouraged time away from digital technology. 

It turns out, he is right about our human need to protect our attention and focus as one of our most valuable personal resources. He suggests in Deep Work that those who are better able to focus for longer periods (a skill on the decline) are the ones most likely to succeed in the future and become the most sought-after professionals. 

The underlying premise of Digital Minimalism (Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World), is to highlight the value of moving from a mindset focused on Digital Consumption to one focused on Digital Use. 

What I mean by this is: becoming more intentional about how you use your devices, gadgets and apps for your personal and professional benefit while minimising the attention capital extracted by Big Tech from your valuable day.

Cal’s books are always well researched and logically presented in a way that builds a solic argument and reasons why.

He provides a convincing argument for resisting and pushing back on the lure of remaining a consumer of the attention economy – mindlessly scrolling social media and news sites, getting lost for hours in whatever the algorithm churns up – but rather using digital tools for what you can intentionally, productively, efficiently extract from its use, and then letting it be. 

He talks about developing a ‘Philosophy of Technology’ – how you use technology ‘as part of a life well lived’ – and being intentional about the technology that you use to support and amplify what you are doing and to improve your productivity and focus – rather than handing your time, attention and focus over to Big Tech so they can add profit to their bottom line.

If you do not pay for the product, you are the product. The business model for online media is to secure revenue through advertising. What they sell is your attention. 

The main focus of Digital Minimalism is not about removing technology for the sake of having less of it. It’s about digitally decluttering, about creating rules around how you use your technology and apps for improving your life and ultimately about ‘doing tech on your terms’. 

The book’s final section provides some useful options for helping minimise digital distractions. Some may work for you, some may not.

Anything is worth trying if it helps you regain control of your digital tech use and let technology work for you to increase overall productivity and lifestyle while minimising the negative aspects it can have on your attention, time, physical and mental health and in-person connections.

You can watch Cal Newport review his book on this YouTube video. 

About Cal Newport:

According to his YouTube channel descriptor: 

‘Cal Newport is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and is also a New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including, A World Without Email, Digital Minimalism, and Deep Work, which have been published in over 35 languages. In addition to his books, Cal is a regular contributor to the New Yorker, the New York Times, and WIRED, a frequent guest on NPR, and the host of the popular Deep Questions podcast. He also publishes articles at calnewport.com and has an email newsletter.’

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My Little Therapy Box – technology and individual well-being

How technology impacts our individual well-being

27 November 2021 (Pre-recorded online video presentation at the Annual Mental Health Conference) 

My Little Therapy Box

Pre-recorded online video presentation at the Annual Mental Health Conference: 27 November 2021

How technology impacts our individual well-being

Topics Covered: 

  • What is CyberPsychology
  • The Remote / Hybrid Working Model
  • Workplace Norms
  • Working Parents
  • Busyness and Email Expectations
  • Our Brains are Malleable
  • Embrace Individual Personality Differences
  • Create Boundaries Between Home and Work
  • Use Strategic Technology Layering
  • Create Better Tech Habits in Personal Time
  • Managing Zoom Fatigue
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The right to be forgotten from social media

The right to be forgotten

Updated: November 2023

Although many think that our actions and reactions online are anonymous, using a device that locates us via our IP address means that we aren’t anonymous at all.

The rising awareness of Western cancel culture (that includes the silencing of both historical and contemporary citizens) has made many (but not everyone) more aware of their online actions and reactions.  

Additionally, those generations who have grown up in the digital era may have posted (or their parents/guardians may have posted) things that no longer represent them. 

In previous eras, the things we did, said and fervently believed disappeared in the mists of time and memory. Not so much anymore. Douglas Murray’s ‘The Madness of Crowds’ and Jon Ronson’s ‘So You’ve Been Publically Shamed‘ showcase examples of how easily it is for both celebrities and everyday citizens to be trolled, shamed and embarrassed for current and historical posts that never go away.

AI algorithms have added another level of complexity to the perceived privacy of our online actions. Social media company business models are set up to maximise screentime-based advertising revenue. As the saying goes, “If you do not pay for the product, you are the product”. So, we are drawn into habits of spending longer periods online than we otherwise think we ought to, and get drawn into conversations we probably shouldn’t. 

So, the right to be forgotten has become a rather important topic to explore – and involves the clash between The Right to Privacy, The Right to Freedom of Expression, Freedom of the Press and Censorship of Big Tech. 

Not everyone in the press is delighted about the EU’s 2014 ruling on a Spanish case that allows an individual the ability to request that Google remove links to information about them e.g. as pointed out by James Ball of The Guardian some articles no longer appear in the UK version of Google’s search engine.

The EU case has set a precedent (as explained by Charles Arthur, also of The Guardian), that applies specifically to Google in Europe but not to European news websites. This is because journalists and the media are protected under the European data protection law as part of media outlets. Google has opted to be classified as a Data Controller, so falls under the EU GDPR laws that protect the integrity of information about people. 

So, do individuals have a ‘right to be forgotten’? Yes and no. Applications can be made to Google to request that links to articles or information about them be removed from their EU search engines. This can mean that those who may have received a criminal record in their youth but have subsequently cleaned up their act and searched for a job may have a better chance if Google Europe ‘forgets’ them. It can also mean that celebrities are able to remove reputation-damaging information from any search about them. However alternative search engines, such as Duckduckgo, or alternative country versions of Google will still include links to the information in their search results.

Mary Aiken (a Forensic CyberPsychologist) in her book The Cyber Effect’ talks about leaving digital traces wherever we go on the internet. Probably the best way to avoid any negative publicity is to become more conscious of what you post online. It is also a really great reason to spend more time with people in person and a little less time online. 

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iGen Article Header

iGen – Jean M. Twenge

iGen is that latest in a series of books Jean Twenge has written based on her decades of research into generational differences and the impact of technology on younger generations.  

Her iGen book outlines her most recent findings on the younger generation having grown up as ‘Digital Natives’. Like the interpretation of any research results, she makes some insightful links between the introduction of the iPhone in 2007 and the behaviours and mental health of the younger generation. 

Although there are a number of critics of the conclusions she draws from her research, there are stem startling warning bells we should all take note off to some degree.

About Jean Twengi:

Jean Twenge is a professor of psychology based at San Diego State University in the USA. She is a leading expert and researcher on how technology is changing the way children and teens are behaving in addition to generational behaviour and childhood development. She has a number of concerns about the adults of the future. 

She has written a number of books including: 

  • iGen
  • Generation Me
  • The Narcissism Epidemic

Go directly to her website or follow her on Twitter

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